Wife's Rights in Islam - By Shaykh Ashraf Salah
Wife's Rights in Islam
By Shaykh Ashraf Salah
Dear Muslims:
Marriage in Islam is
an important institution that has deep effects on society. Marriage is a bond containing
rights and duties that each person, male or female, should preserve, protect
and fulfil. Both the husband and wife, have certain rights and duties. Allah
said:
"And live with
them honourably."[4:19 ].
Each of them must
fulfil his or her duties for the marriage to succeed. Allah said:
"And they (women)
have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over
them as regards to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of
responsibility) over them.) [2:228].
Women must fulfil
their duties towards their husbands. Men must treat their wives fairly and
fulfil their duties towards them, too. A happy marriage is assured if both the
husband and the wife preserve each other’s rights. A marriage that does the
opposite is a miserable one.
The Sunah of the
Prophet is full of advice of what brings about a successful marriage. He (SAW)
said: "Treat women fairly. The woman was created from a bent rib. The most
bent part of the rib is the top. If you want to straighten it, you will break it.
If you left it, it will stay bent. So treat women fairly." [Al- Bukhari
& Muslim]. In this Hadith, the Prophet orders men to be fair with their
wives and to treat them in the best manner. He described forcing a woman to
change some of her attitudes as breaking the rib, and breaking the rib here
means divorce. The Prophet was seeking to protect marriage from what may
destroy it. He said: "No Mu'min (believer) should dislike his believing
wife. If he does not like her attitude (in some matters), (then) he will like
another." [Muslim].
The Prophet advises
men as how to have a good marriage. Men must ignore some of their wives
mistakes and attitudes as long as they are not sins. The Prophet acknowledges
that changing these attitudes is difficult. Women, Just like men, are not
perfect. To enjoy marriage, men must forgive the bad attitudes and habits, and
remember, the good ones. Surely in most cases, the good sides are more than the
bad sides. For the husband to hate his wife, ignoring the good in her, means the
destruction of their marriage. Many men want their wives to be perfect. This is
not possible to achieve. If men ignore this fact, then misery and depression
will fill their marriage, and this may lead to divorce. The Prophet advises the
believers to protect their marriage by correcting the impermissible behaviour
of their wives, and not force change in matters that are not sins.
Dear Muslims:
Today we will consider the main obligations
imposed by Islam up on the husband toward his wife and insha`allah in a coming
khutbah we will discuss those of the wife toward her husband. The chief rights
of wives are as follow:
Dowry:
In Islam the
man presents his wife with a dowry they have mutually agreed upon, at the time
of marriage. The amount varies according to his means and generosity, and his
wife has the right to spend, save or remit any part of it. Allah (SWT) says in
the Quran:
"And give to the
women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatorybridal-money given by the husband
to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their
own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without
fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful). (An-Nisa’ 4:4)
Maintenance:
Women have been
entrusted by Allah (SWT) with the task of providing a peaceful, comfortable
home environment for the breadwinner who works for their provisions outside the
home all day long.
It is one of the extraordinary beauties of Islam that by entrusting the male to
the position of protector and provider, it frees the woman, who is burdened
with the long cycle of bearing, giving birth to, nursing and raising children,
from having to assume the extra burden of her own and her children’s support,
which is unjust and a tremendous hardship.
While a woman must obey her husband, as long as he does not ask anything
forbidden of her, and guard his possessions while he is away from the house,
and handle his money as he wishes, she must also be faithful, trustworthy and
honest.
A wife is regarded as a source of love, peace and compassion, as stated in the
Quran:
"And among His
Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you
may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Ar-Rum 30:21)
"…But the father
of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a
reasonable basis. No person shall
have
a burden laid on him greater than he can bear” (Al-Baqarah 2:233). Once the
prophet (SAW) was asked:
"’O Messenger of
Allah (SAW), what right can a wife demand of her husband?’ He replied, ‘that
you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not
strike her on the face, and do not insult her or separate form her except in
the house.’" (Reported by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Abu Dawud). In another
occasion;
"A woman came to
the Prophet (SAW) complaining of her husband, ‘Messenger of Allah (SAW), Abu
Sufyan is a niggardly man who does not give me and my son enough; except what I
take from him without his knowledge.’ He replied, ‘Take what is enough for you
and your son according to what is ma’roof (well-known in your society).’"
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
Good Treatment, Consideration and Companionship:
Allah (SWT)
instructs men that they must be compassionate and kind to their wives:
"…They are Libas
[i.e. body cover (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her as in Verse
7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and your are the same for them…" (Al
Baqarah 2:187)
"It is He Who has
created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created form him his
wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her…"
(Al-A’raf 7:189)
This
meaning that a wife and a husband are meant for mutual support, mutual comfort,
and mutual protection of each other.
Prophet
Muhammad (SAW) also said:
"The best of you
are those who are best to the women." (Sahih At-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah)
The best
husband is one who provides his wife with true leadership without harshness, or
laxness, and who does not misuse his authority and strength. Even if the
behaviour of a wife should become hard to live with (for she may not always be
in strong health and of cheery disposition), the man is asked to be patient and
kind to her. Allah (SWT) says:
"O you who
believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should
not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (dowry,
bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) you have
given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with
them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and
Allah brings through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa’ 4:19 )
A wife has the right
to her husband’s attention, companionship and time. The husband should try to
please his wife and make her happy, taking into consideration her needs,
wishes, likes and dislikes, and making time for relaxation and recreation
together.
The Right to Adequate Sexual Relations:
Since the
purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment
for each other, like a garment that protects and cover, the sexual aspect of
marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle,
considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs. The wife
must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be
attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need
of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband. In Islam, any
sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both
husband and wife are also obligated to honour the privacy of the intimate
relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone. Prophet
Muhammad (SAW) said:
"Verily among the
worst people before Allah on the Day of Judgment is a man who approaches his
wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." (Sahih
Muslim)
The Prophet
(SAW) also declared that having sexual intercourse with one’s wife is like
giving charity. It is very important to play and sport with one’s wife before
having sex, as the Prophet (SAW) told Jabir,
"Why
did you not marry a virgin, with whom you could play and who would play with you?"
(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The Right to Learning Matters of the Deen :
A husband’s
duty is to teach his wife the essential knowledge of Islam, in particular
matters pertaining to women. If he does not know himself, then he must buy her
books and tapes that would teach her or let her go to study circles where she
can acquire that knowledge. She cannot leave the house without his permission.
However, he should not prevent her from going to the Masjid (Mosque). Allah’s
Messenger (SAW) said:
"Do not prevent
the female servants of Allah from visiting the mosques of Allah, but they may
go out (to the mosque) having not perfumed themselves." (Ahmad and Abu
Dawud)
"…Their houses are better for them." (Abu Dawud)
The Right to Be Just With All the Wives:
The Prophet
(SAW) said: "When a man has two
wives and does not treat them equally he will come on the Day of Resurrection
with a side hanging down." (At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)
The wives have
the right to equal number of nights and equal amount of wealth.
The husband
should also respect his wife’s relatives, consider her consultation and even
try to assist her in the Household.
We
ask Allah (SWT) to help us to fulfil our duties toward the others, to improve
ourselves and to forgive us all (Ameen).
