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Divorce - By Shaykh Ashraf Salah
Divorce
By Shaykh Ashraf Salah
Dear Muslims: Marriage in Islam is not a business deal negotiated by two
partners, nor is it a secular contract whereby material benefits and
obligations are evaluated in contrast to one another. It is something solemn,
something sacred, and it would be erroneous to define it in simply physical or
material and secular terms. Moral charity, spiritual elevation, social integrity,
human stability, peace and mercy constitute the major elements of marriage. It
is a contract to which Allah Himself is the first witness and the first party,
it is concluded in His name, in obedience to Him and according to His
ordinances. It is a decent human companionship, authorized and supervised by
Allah (SWT). It is a sign of His blessings and abundant mercy as He clearly
says in the Holy Quran:
“And among His signs in
this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find
repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that
are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (30:21).
It is evident,
therefore, that marriage in Islam is a means of permanent relationship and
continuous harmony not only between man and woman but also between those and
Allah. It is also clear that when two muslims negotiate a marriage contract,
they have every intention to make it a lasting success, for good or for bad,
for better or for worse.
Dear Brothers and sisters in Islam:
Marriage in Islam is
a sanctified bond that should not be broken except for compelling reasons.
Couples are instructed to pursue all possible remedies whenever their marriages
are in danger. Divorce is not to be resorted to except when there is no other way
out. In a nutshell, Islam recognizes divorce, yet it discourages it by all
means.
However, the
procedure of divorce in Islam is such as to encourage reconciliation where
possible. After divorce the woman should wait three monthly cycles during which
her husband remains responsible for her welfare and maintenance. He is not
permitted to drive her out of the house during this period but she may leave it
if she wishes. The main purpose of this waiting period is to clarify whether
the divorced wife is or is not expecting a child. Its second use is as a
cooling-off period during which the relatives and other members of the family
or of the community may try to help towards a reconciliation and better
understanding between the partners. The Qur'an says:
"And if you
fear a breach between the two, then appoint judge from his people and a judge
from her people; if they both desire agreement, Allah will effect harmony
between them, surely Allah is Knowing, Aware." (4:35 ).
If
they are reconciled they may resume the marriage relations at any time within
the waiting period, whereupon the divorce is automatically revoked. If further
trouble arises and divorce is pronounced a second time, the same procedure is
followed. Only if the matter reaches a third divorce does it become
irrevocable. The wife is then free after three monthly cycles to marry another
man if she wishes. The first husband is not then permitted to remarry her
unless she has in the meantime married another man and been divorced.
Dear brothers and
sisters in Islam:
Islam discourages
divorce. The Prophet of Islam (PBUH) told the believers that:
"among all
the permitted acts, divorce is the most hateful to God" (Abu Dawood).
A Muslim man should
not divorce his wife just because he dislikes her. The Quran instructs Muslim
men to be kind to their wives even in cases of lukewarm emotions or feelings of
dislike:
"Live with
them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you dislike them it
may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed a great deal of
good"
(Quran 4:19 ).
Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH) gave a similar instruction:
" A believing
man must not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her traits he will
be pleased with another" (Muslim).
The Prophet (PBUH)
has also emphasized that the best Muslims are those who are best to their
wives:
"The
believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character
and the best of you are those who are best to their wives" (Tirmidthi). The prophet (PBUH) also said: "The
best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family" (Tirmidthi).
Islam allows divorce
if circumstances warrant or necessitate it. Islam has permitted divorce
reluctantly, neither liking nor recommending it. The Prophet of Islam has said:
"Among
lawful things, divorce is most disliked by Allah" (narrated in the book of
tradition of Abu Daud).
Dear Muslims:
This is the stand of Islam on the matter. Marriage is the
lasting, strong and firm covenant while divorce constitutes only the
exceptional case. Divorce can be obtained but only as the last resort, even if
this is the case, divorce must be granted with dignity and due respect. Islam
has not made it necessary that the grounds of divorce should be publicized. It,
however; does not mean that Islam views divorce lightly. In fact, publicity of
grounds may not be of any positive consequence. The grounds may not be
pronounced but genuine. On the other hand, the grounds may be stated and may in
reality be false.
We ask Allah (SAT) to bless, guide and forgive us all.
